Monday, 26 July 2010

Praying for him...

Every girl has that one guy that makes her go weak at the knees, whether it’s your current boyfriend, your ex or that guy you always see at the bus stop every morning. We can name a guy who makes us all starry eyed with that butterfly feeling we all know very well.


Being in a relationship can be magical; late night phone calls, snuggling up on the sofa and romantic days out. As cliché as it sounds, us girls like the emotional side of the relationship and when everything is going so well, we close our eyes and cross our fingers and hope for the best. But there is one thing that we forget, why don’t we pray for our relationships? Pray for a future in it, pray for stability and pray for faithfulness.

Relationships are not really talked about in church and very often, young girls are left feeling helpless and shameful. There are mixed messages that parents, pastors and teachers often give to us young women, and the most common is STAY AWAY FROM BOYS AND FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES. However, the reality of the situation brings to light many young girls who are involved in relationships.

Praying for your relationship shows your man that you are serious and God-fearing. As Proverbs 31:30 says: “A woman who fears the Lord, is to be praised.” Both of you being deep in Christ is the best foundation and building blocks for your relationship, when you have started in Christ, and continue to seek him diligently, you both will know Him in great ways. A relationship is covenant between God, you and him. A famous quote that I once heard is “a woman’s heart should be so deep in Christ, that for a man to seek her heart, he must go through Christ first” This is a beautiful quote that shows how deep the love a woman should have for God as she embarks on a journey with her man.

I once asked my mum how it is, that her and my dad have been together for 21 years, she replied to me “a couple that prays together stays together”.

Or maybe your relationship is at an all time low and you are feeling confused and lost. Pray for peace of mind and for spiritual awareness, if you don’t know how to pray, I have put a small prayer at the end of the blog that you can use and expand on. Sometimes as girls, we close our eyes, cross our fingers and hope for it to get better soon. It may not be the right relationship for you or maybe you need to bring your man to Christ. You may even be feeling tired of the whole thing (even though I don’t think I could ever get tired of waking up next to David Beckham!)

But how will you know if you have not prayed about it? Pray for strength to be able to stand up and be virtuous, put your self-worth first and know that before any man loved you; God loved you first. Your man may be going through difficult times and as girls we can feel useless in certain situations. But praying for him is the greatest gift you can give to him. Praying for somebody else shows selflessness which is how Christ taught us to live.

Therefore, God will answer our prayers for others more quickly and surely than prayers for ourselves, and, more than that, what we ask in prayer for others will come back to us.  An excellent Biblical example is found at the end of the Book of Job. If you read chapter 42:10, you will find this: "And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before." As you can see, it was when Job prayed for his friends that he got blessed, and if you are familiar with the Book of Job, you will understand that it was forgiveness for his friends that he had to pray for. In the same way, God will often only act in our behalf when we take the initiative to pray for the needs, material and spiritual, of others.


Something that God put on my heart was also the situation about ex boyfriends. Many girls have been hurt in the past and it can be destructive both physically and spiritually. But know that you are a beautiful young woman who has been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. Rebuke that spirit of depression or sadness; it has no place in your life. Your tongue is one of the most powerful tools you have; use it to claim blessings in your life. Use it to rebuke heartache and pain and use it to pray for the ones that hurt you. Proverbs 13:2 teaches us that from the fruit of your lips, you shall enjoy good.
The bible  also says we should forgive those who trespass against us; burdening pain in your heart is poisonous. Don’t let it kill you. Praying for someone that hurt you helps you to move on and blossom into the beautiful worthy woman has called you to be.

Some of you are reading this thinking, “I don’t have a boyfriend and have never had an ex”, but praying for the right guy to come along doesn’t start when you go on the first date. Pray that when the right guy comes along; you are able to see it. Pray that you may be far from any temptation that is a distraction to you. Even if he looks like Wentworth Miller! The right time will come when you are to be in a relationship, don’t succumb to peer pressure or feel under any strain. After all, in 1 Corinthians 17:32, it says that an unmarried person should only be concerned with the affairs of the Lord. Focus on whatever it is you are doing and pursue it to the highest degree.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever. Stay blessed!





Please feel free to leave comments to debate, discuss and share any issues you feel like!



Prayer of salvation: Father, in heaven You said that, "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I know now that I can do nothing to save myself. You died on the cross and shed your blood for me. You paid for and took away all my sin and iniquity. I call on your name right now. Lord Jesus, save me! I believe in you now and believe that you died on the cross in my place, to pay the price for and take away all my sin.
In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen

10 comments:

  1. very inspirational as always! xxxx

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  2. This is so true... I always thought it was hard trying being in a relationship and being a christian at the same time, but it shouldnt be. at the end of the day, if the guy ur with isnt on the same path as u, and hes not willing to walk on it...then maybe hes not who God has planned for you x

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  3. I think the great thing about this is that you have given a modern approach to relationships that is relatable amongst many females to date.

    I pray that many do not misinterpret this, because it is a powerful tool. Too often in Church and religion nowadays we are encouraged to avoid relationships and building a relationship with boys/men. It's comforting to be encouraged to pray instead, ask for peace of mind, and for guidance regardless of the choices we make.

    This also is an inspiration for young people to develop a healthy balance in all areas of their life (personal/academic/work) and to introduce prayer into them.
    xxx NeNe xx

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  4. This is so beautiful. Filled my eyes up, u knw why. Love u. God bless. Fi. XxX

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  5. ‎​I think this is very strong 4 females and it will direct them in a positive direction in lives. ‎​It will help a female think about wot they r lookin 4 and choose the rite partner 4 themselves. But God wud have to be first in the relationship, as in other areas of life too.

    Also this encourages prayer in a relationship which is a good ting. I believe that with prayer there is change and God always comes through in the end.

    Andrew

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  6. I love this. I really do. I think that a lot people can actually relate as it is hard these days to be a Christian and in a relationship without being judged. You have definately given a fresh insight for myself and most likely a lot of other girls in similar positions. Genuinely, I feel asif these words have been placed on your heart by God and encourage you to carry on the good work. Your an inspirational writer and I'm proud to call you my big sis. Keep it up, luv ya xxxx

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  7. hey, Ben! i love this blog, it is such a blessing for many and you're a blessing for many!i thank God for what he's doing in your life. he has given you a great gift and i thank him that he finally gave you the opportunity to use it in order to bring many lost souls to jesus christ our master. the message given here is very special, not everyone really thinks about this things and even in church people tend to forget some reallities. i blieve you have a gift of understanding people and comforting souls crying in the darkness of this world.it takes a woman to understand another woman. the time of the harvest is now. may you reach as many souls as possible not only throught this but also throught other ways. i praise God that you keep his word as his word says in proverbe 30:31 :" charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". And i pray that you grow deeper in the spirit discovering many gifts "there are different kinds of gifts,but the same spirit....(1 corin.12:4).i pray today and everyday that you'll move forward armed with faith and love discovering blessings the lord has set forth for you remembering that i love you but more important that he does.in jesus name.

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  8. I love this post so much because a lot of people tend to keep are their faith and relationships separate. Whether it be your studies, work, family or future God should be the first one in all area. I feel that when you pray for your relationships or future relationships it shows authenticity and you will see the benefits in time.

    Every time I read you blog you really inspire me and I truly enjoy it. Keep going because this blog is defiantly going to develop into something bigger.

    Geraldine

    xxx

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  9. I love this. I feel that a lot of the time we are encouraged to stay clear of relationships but it's really beautiful that you have given practical advice for those in, looking too enter and not yet in a relationship. It's so important that we pray about things like this because many are often led astray entering relationships which do more damage than good. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says "A Cord of three strands is not quickly broken". It is so key for those in a relationship to put God at the centre if it is to blossom and be successful!

    Thanks Ben <3

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